The Top Ten Reasons to Pay for an iPhone Fart App

10. The smell of your own farts has begun to make you nauseous but you miss the “auditory goodness” of your own flatulence.

9. You just won the lottery and the first thought that comes into your mind is “I need to immediately fill up my iPhone with fart apps”.

8. There’s no better theft protection for your iPhone than the “Security Fart”. (No joke — there is such a thing — check it out here)

7. You’re embarking upon a career as a Flatulence Performance Artist and you can write off iFart as a business expense.

6. Concerned you just sharted, you rush to compare the sound to what you just heard.

5. The quality of the fart sounds in the free apps “just don’t cut it anymore”.

4. Sometimes, you just gotta’ splurge.

3. In an attempt to keep up with North Korea, you decide to begin your own nuclear testing program.

2. Life cannot continue until you find out what a “Brown Mosquito” fart sounds like.

1. Farts are Funny

For those who haven’t been following the saga, Apple, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the Eucalyptus reader app should not be included in the App store because of offensive content. To quote Apple:

“Applications must not contain any obscene, pornographic, offensive or defamatory content or materials of any kind (text, graphics, images, photographs, etc.), or other content or materials that in Apple’s reasonable judgement may be found objectionable by iPhone or iPod touch users.”

The obscene, pornographic content that Apple is talking about is the text from a translation of The Kama Sutra. While the position that this book is “pornographic” is certainly debatable, Apple’s position is not.

Rejecting Eucalyptus is just wrong.

As the author of Eucalyptus explained on his blog, Eucalyptus is just an interface to search and view the books available on the Project Gutenberg website, a collection of over 28,000 free books — including The Kama Sutra. This book can be viewed on the iPhone in many other apps that are available in the App Store and even Safari!!

Fortunately, Apple has seen the errors of their ways and made Eucalyptus available on the App Store. While I have yet to test it out, it does look amazing:

Turning the page in Eucalyptus

All controversy aside, Eucalyptus looks like the eBook reader we’ve all been waiting for and it comes with access to 28,000 books as a bonus!